


Requiem

by solomonara



Category: A Conjuring of Light - V.E. Schwab, A Darker Shade of Magic - V.E. Schwab, A Gathering of Shadows - V.E. Schwab, Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, White London, acol spoilers, except when lila is on-page, it's kind of an introspective fic, long blocks of text with no dialogue, mainly about Nasi, post-ACOL, rated T for references to terrible things that happened in canon and also for swearing, red london, red london characters used sparingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10059140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solomonara/pseuds/solomonara
Summary: Things were bad in London, as bad as they ever were, but Nasi had witnessedgoodat a formative age. She wanted to see it again. (contains ACOL spoilers – lots of 'em)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is really just a very long goodbye to Holland, but I didn't want to put that in the tags or the summary for those who haven't finished the book. It does maunder on a bit – I can't draw so I had to process my feelings _somehow_. I sincerely hope V.E. Schwab comes back to this world soon and makes all of this moot.
> 
> This is unbeta-ed. Let me know if you notice anything glaring.

It was a long time before anyone noticed the Kingtree. At first caught up in the despair and anger that followed yet another hope dashed to pieces, it was a long time before White London noticed much of anything beyond the rotting vines, the depressingly familiar thinness of the air, the abrupt return to scrabbling for power as people realized that their miracle king had vanished just as swiftly as any of his predecessors.

They did not know that their long wait was coming to an end. Would not know for several years. Healing – even magical healing – takes time, if it is to be true. And so, even while the Kingtree buried its roots deep and deeper, even as soil warmed and currents stirred under ice, blood spilled through cobbled streets. If anyone tasted power on the air, they attributed it to fresh bindings and brands and thought it earned.

A new king rose and fell with the moon. The queen who followed was no Astrid Dane, but then, with the Danes gone from the world, she didn't need to be. She was enough.

She was why Nasi fled to the Silver Wood in the winter of her thirteenth year. Nasi had survived the Danes, had been favored by the miracle king's knight, had survived yet again after the king vanished and Ojka died (and _rose_ , but Nasi didn't think about that). She could survive this queen. But she didn't _want_ to. Things were bad in London, as bad as they ever were, but Nasi had witnessed _good_ at a formative age. She wanted to see it again. London wasn't the world. There had to be more out there, even if it was frozen solid and she had to rely on clouds for company.

She waited as long as she could, trying to grow physically strong so that when the time came she'd have every advantage, but four years was enough. When the queen began attempting to replicate some of Athos Dane's more famous bindings, Nasi packed a bundle of clothes and food, stole a bow and quiver from the armory, and left. She knew the palace better than anyone else at that point – had outlived anyone who might know it better – and her departure went largely unremarked.

She left by way of the Silver Wood. It was as good a direction as any, and she had heard the miracle king mention it once. She followed the Sijlt in the direction everyone referred to as upriver, though the river moved so sluggishly that either direction might have been up. There was no path, but the grass was tired and dead and the earth was solid and cold, so the way was easy. When the river forked, she followed the wider branch and there it was, the place where magic had died.

Nasi eyed the dull gleam of the trunks for a moment before slipping in among the trees. She didn't realize until she was several paces in that she had been bracing herself, though for what she didn't know. The grove was peaceful. It wasn't just the absence of other people; there was something about being surrounded by the smooth trunks of leafless trees, branches fracturing the grey sky above, the ground below undisturbed by any protruding root, that made the grove feel like a place apart.

The river narrowed, becoming a stream. Eventually it bent through a clearing, and there Nasi paused. In the clearing was a petrified log, a stump – who had cut one of _these_ trees? – and a tree unlike any of the others in the wood. It was tall, like the others, and leafless like them, but this tree did not have the metallic sheen of the rest of the Wood. It was bone white. Nasi thought it might actually _be_ bone, but she was afraid to touch it. At its base, roots twisted above the surface of the ground, tangling over each other and plunging through soil in knots and braids, stretching for the river like the legs of a person leaning against the trunk of the tree might. If someone had told her that in a year and a half people would be calling this the Kingtree, Nasi wouldn't have believed it. It looked dead, despite the roots.

Nasi edged past it, intending to simply continue on her way, when something made her pause and look closer. Maybe she'd caught a glint of metal out of the corner of her eye, or the barest scent of flowers on the air, but now that she'd looked she could see the smallest spot of color there, nestled right up against the bole of the tree. A step closer and she realized it was a tiny red flower, and next to it…

Nasi's eyes widened and she darted forward, snatching up the worn red coin. Her world didn't quibble about sources of power, but she knew that _this_ – this was bad magic. It didn't belong here. She knew about the messenger from the other London, knew he brought nothing but trouble in his wake. She considered burying the coin, or throwing it into the river, but in the end those both seemed as bad as leaving it nestled in the roots of a strange tree in a once-magic wood. She pocketed the coin, vowing to carry it far away with her. The flower she left behind. She didn't need its scent giving her away, but she couldn't bring herself to destroy it; she still remembered the flowers that had bloomed so briefly at the miracle king's command, still remembered scraping together bunches for – but Nasi didn't think about that. She turned and kept walking, following the river.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

White London moved on without Nasi. Eight months after she left, the queen attempted to bind a guard to her will – business as usual – and the guard resisted. Successfully. Magically. His mind and will rebelled against the queen's, and when he thrust out a hand instinctively to defend himself, a gust of wind howled through the hall, literally toppling the queen from her throne. Elemental magic that had been dead for centuries. There was uproar. There was clamor.

There was a new king, whether he wanted the job or not.

Miles and miles and miles away, Nasi was standing at the source of the Sijlt, staring. After leaving the Wood, she'd just kept right on following it. Why not? She had said she was going to get out of London, but she didn't have a specific destination in mind, didn't even know if there _were_ any destinations still out there in this fading world. If she was going to find other people though, the river was as reasonable a choice as any.

Eight months of walking along the river had taken her through ghost towns, through encounters with lone, wild men and women who seemed more than half-mad, through long periods of bad forage when she thought she might starve, and finally to foothills and then peaks. By that point she'd acquired a few more scars ( _don't think about Ojka, don't_ ) and a different kind of strength than what was available in the streets of London. She'd also watched the Sijlt freeze as she got further and further from the city. Even the chain of waterfalls that spilled it down the side of this nameless mountain she'd climbed had become curtains of icicles, as still as though they'd been painted. When she'd finally reached the spring – a tiny pool of ice in what once might have been a pleasant glen – she'd sat down at the edge of it, dug a small fire pit and kindled a flame, then spread out her bedroll and went to sleep even though it was barely twilight. She didn't know what else to do, where she would go next.

She woke in the dead of night to a resounding _CRACK_ , sure that Athos Dane and his whip were upon her, sure that the past several years had been a dream and she had finally run out of luck. But her body knew where she was and her hand was on the bow as her legs coiled under her before her brain caught up to the empty sky above and the hard ground beneath. She took a deep breath, stilled her heart, and peered through the darkness, listening hard for whatever had made the noise.

The second _crack_ sounded like dry wood broken over a knee, and it made her jump. She stirred the remains of her fire, trying to stoke it big enough to be a light source. There was, as always, plenty of dead wood and grass around and she'd stopped worrying about attracting people with the flame leagues ago. While she built the fire, a series of smaller pops punctured the air before giving way to the sound of rushing water.

And this was what had Nasi staring, there at the source of the Sijlt, far from civilization: flowing water. The ice had broken up and rushed away and the Sijlt was bubbling up from some unknown depth, glittering in the meager light before spilling over itself away into the darkness down the mountain.

A giggle escaped Nasi's throat, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. Then she remembered that there was no one around to hear her, and the river was laughing too, so why not join it. The laugh spilled from her lips as she fell to her knees next to the river, plunging a hand in to make sure it was real. It was cold, _so_ cold, but Nasi didn't care. She pulled her hand back, still grinning, and sat with her back to the fire for the rest of the night, watching the water.

In the morning, she re-plaited her hair, packed her bedroll, and followed the river back down the mountain. The toothy gaps that had marked the absence of waterfalls were now filled with the white rush of free-flowing water, tumbling down and down and down. Nasi tripped after it, saying hello to each and every pool, dipping her hands in each, delight renewing itself at every rill and rivulet now brimming with living water.

 

At some point on her way back to London, she discovered that the water loved her, too. She didn't know how long little waves had been skipping in time with her footsteps, but once she noticed and reached out a hand tentatively, she discovered that she could beckon the water – or push it away. Elemental magic. The realization almost drowned her as the river surged upward in her joy, but she realized her error quickly, took a deep breath, and put it gently back in its bed. She practiced all the way back to London, feeling her power grow inside her, feeling something missing click into place. Ojka would be proud.

She was fifteen by the time she saw London again – as near as she could figure, anyway. It was easy to lose track of time away from everything. She didn't go through the Silver Wood this time. She remembered the bone white tree and the ominous offerings in its roots. She still held the red coin.

What she found within the city limits was a city as lively as the Sijlt now was. People walked the streets greeting their neighbors. Laundry aired on lines. Children were playing. Nasi discovered that there was a king on the throne eight months now, and he was a wind mage. People were calling him the someday king, because he wasn't the _only_ wind mage now, oh no. After he'd discovered his power it was like a dam breaking and now elementals were cropping up everywhere. They were even starting a school to help people learn about their new powers.

Nasi's head was spinning. She paused on a bridge, watching the Sijlt flow sedately by beneath her feet. It had calmed down a lot since bursting from the mountain. Here, it seemed smug. Pleased with itself. Nasi dropped a pebble in it, but that only seemed to tickle it.

"Yes, yes, you've restored magic to the world and completely reinvented a city," she said in an unimpressed tone. She'd gotten into the habit of talking to the river in the year and a half she'd been gone and didn't notice the curious looks from other people crossing the bridge around her. "I suppose you've got something to be satisfied about. But what's next for you and me?"

The water sloshed unhelpfully. Nasi reached into her pocket for another pebble, but her fingers brushed the red coin instead. She frowned and turned away from the rail abruptly, crossing the rest of the bridge. She had half a mind to leave the city again, follow the Sijlt all the way in the _other_ direction and see what she could see, when a merchant's call snagged her ear.

"Water from the grove! Blessed water from the grove of the Kingtree! Earth from the grove! All legal, folks, all fairly priced, don't be shy," called a rotund man under a striped awning. He looked to be doing well for himself. The table in front of him was spread with small ampoules of water and little pots of dirt. He noticed Nasi looking. "Hello there, miss, lovely day, might you be looking for something to draw out that elemental power in you?"

Nasi's eyebrows crawled upward. No one had ever called her "miss" in her life, and she knew she must look a sight after so long wandering. She quirked a little smile and raised her hand, causing all the little glass vials to rattle as she sloshed the water around in them. The man raised his hands and laughed from deep in his belly.

"All right, all right, point taken, miss, you've already got the power. But maybe you need a blessing? Bit of luck for the road?"

Nasi was drawn in despite herself. The man was surrounded by water and the Sijlt wasn't far away. It was probably safe to talk to him. She made sure to stand out of arm's reach, though, and ostentatiously adjusted her quiver of arrows.

"What do you mean, luck?" she asked.

"Everyone knows water and earth from the Kingtree grove is lucky," he said. "Carry a bit of it with you, and you'll always have a little piece of magic with you."

This seemed odd logic to Nasi, but she was more interested in this grove. "People actually buy this? Why not just go to this grove themselves? Is it far?"

Now the merchant was looking at her a little oddly. "Well no," he said. "It's just upriver, you know. But not just anyone can waltz in and just take water and earth from the grove, these days."

Nasi stilled. A grove upriver? "The Silver Wood, you mean?"

"Of course," said the man. "Where have you been, anyway? The king decreed it was off limits months ago. And rightly so, I might add," he said officiously. "Too many people stealing away bits, and soon there'd be no grove at all. And I shudder to think what might happen to the tree itself. Now that magic's back, we have to protect it, you know."

"Which is why you're selling pieces of the grove to anyone who can pay, right?" Nasi asked wryly. The merchant puffed himself up indignantly.

"I'll have you know I am an officially sanctioned grove merchant," he said. "I get my supply directly from the castle. I would never trespass in the grove, let alone carry out anything I found there."

"Right. Of course not. Sorry," Nasi said, backing away. The merchant let her go with a huff.

 

That night, Nasi went to the Silver Wood. Protected it might be, but only by one guard watching the path. Even if she hadn't been good friends with the river, Nasi would have been able to get into the Wood a dozen different ways. She wondered if people respected the king enough that his order was sufficient to keep them out of the Wood, or if perhaps he was scarier than word on the street led her to believe. Or maybe he had other ways of monitoring it, or maybe people just did as they liked and ignored the order entirely. Whatever it was, nothing prevented her from slipping into the river downstream and then willing herself against the current until the river became too narrow and shallow – at which point she was practically among the trees.

She asked the river to deposit her on the bank, then gave back the excess water soaking her so that she was completely dry as she followed the river on foot back to the grove.

"So you're a Kingtree," she said to the bone white tree with the gnarled roots. Then she looked up and gasped.

The tree had leaves now, great spreading leaves fluffing its branches and whispering to the wind. She reached up to one of the lowest branches to tug it closer and saw that they were _green_ , not the golds and silvers and bronzes of the other trees in the silver wood, but properly green, _familiarly_ green.

She let the branch go in a hurry, and as she did one leaf fluttered free. It was broad and oval, not shaped like the other leaves on the Kingtree, which were serrated and branched. The oval leaf fluttered down right in front of Nasi's nose and she put a hand out for it instinctively. This leaf was the wrong color, too: bright red on one side, and tawny yellow on the other. Nasi stared at it for a moment before sinking down among the roots of the Kingtree. She put her back to the trunk so that the tree was between her and the river and the Sijlt wouldn't see her cry. And she did cry. Cried like she was nine years old again, though she would never have let herself do so at the time.

She wasn't quite finished when she heard voices.

"…still think this is a bad idea," said a woman's voice, low and irritated. The translation rune just below Nasi's neck – the one bit of magic she'd bound to herself, years ago, just in case she ever saw the red messenger again – burned and she huddled closer to the tree, staying perfectly still.

"I thought bad ideas were your favorite kind," said a man's voice, unperturbed.

"Only when they're mine," said the woman.

"You didn't have to come."

"Kell," she said, exasperated. "Don't be an idiot."

 _Kell_. Kell, with the red hair. The miracle king's prisoner who'd vanished with the king, leaving Ojka dead behind him. The red messenger, people had later said. Nasi's brain stalled. She didn't know what to do. They were coming closer.

"Jesus," said the woman. "How is it possible for a tree to look like someone?" Nasi heard a boot scuff against a root. They were just on the other side of the trunk, with their backs to the Sijlt. The place where Nasi had found the red coin and the flower a year and a half ago.

"Lila," Kell chided.

"What? It's not like he can feel it. I mean it's not – he's not _actually_ a tree, is he?"

"No," Kell said. A pause. "No, Holland is gone." Holland. The miracle king's name. Nasi felt a rush of anger hearing it on that man's lips, but it was muddled with confusion because Kell sounded… sad. Truly, deeply sad.

"Is that— Kell. Is that a Red London flower? Have you been leaving flowers here _every year_?" Lila didn't sound angry, just disbelieving.

"No!" Kell said, defensive. "Just the first year. When I brought Holland, I left a coin because I thought, maybe… well, never mind. When I came back it was still here, but so was this tree. A whole tree, fully grown, in a year. Or maybe it was already here and just _changed_." Nasi couldn't see it, but Kell put a hand to the trunk. "So I left the coin, and the flower, and the next year they were still here. The flower never decays. It's not hurting anything."

"Mm," said Lila, managing to infuse the syllable with skepticism. "And the coin?"

"It… disappeared. About two years ago," Kell admitted

"Kell," Lila growled. "If the end result of your yearly pity party is another fucking shadow king, I will personally throw you into the ocean."

"If it's possible for one red lin to cause that kind of chaos, then it would happen with or without the coin I left here. I've scattered quite a few around White London over the years," Kell said. There was a protracted pause.

"…Was that meant to be comforting?" Lila asked finally.

"We're _fine_ ," Kell said, and Nasi could hear the smile in his voice. "And this world is fine, too, did you notice? Because of Holland."

They were quiet for a while longer. Nasi wondered what they were doing. Just standing and staring at the tree? _Why_?

"Is it worth it?" Lila eventually asked. "Tearing yourself apart once a year to come back here?"

"It doesn't hurt that much."

"Don't lie, Kell, you're bad at it. And I didn't _just_ mean using magic, anyway. What's the point of re-living this every year?"

They were silent again as Kell thought about his answer. A root was digging into Nasi's back. She wished they'd hurry up about it.

"At first, I just wanted closure," Kell said. "But the first time I came back, with this tree here, and magic obviously waking, I guess I wanted to track its progress. It's all Holland ever wanted, but so much could still go wrong…"

"And if it did go wrong you would, what, jump in to save the day? I'm starting to see why you kept these trips a secret."

"No, I just wanted to _know_." Kell insisted. "Not meddle. Just see how Holland's story played out. All the way to the end."

"When's the end? Is it now? Because I can feel the magic here, Kell. It's strong. It's put down roots. Literally. This world is going to be all right."

"I know," Kell said.

Lila sighed. "So. Same time next year, then?"

"You don't have to."

"There you go being an idiot again. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

" _As Travars._ "

Nasi waited, but they said nothing else. Eventually she peered around the tree, and they were gone, vanished as thoroughly as the miracle king had once upon a time. Though, Nasi thought, with a glance up into those green, green leaves, perhaps _vanished_ really wasn't the right word for it.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Nasi returned to the grove every year to spy on Lila and Kell.

The first time, she told herself that she was going to confront the red messenger, to get the whole story out of him so that she could decide what needed to be done. In the year that had passed, Nasi had come to realize that the king was actually a good man – or at least, as good as a man could be and still be king. He cared about the prosperity of the people, paid attention when they told him something was wrong, found mages to tend to their education so that magic would never be abused to the point of breaking again.

He would probably want to know about the travelers from the other London. Nasi just had to decide what to tell him. So, one year from the night she had first overheard Kell and Lila, Nasi snuck back into the grove. This time she wasn't going to risk just hiding on the other side of the trunk. She climbed the Kingtree itself – it didn't seem to mind – and settled herself on a wide branch where she could comfortably look down through the leaves without moving too much.

Sure enough, the travelers appeared. Kell looked far older than Nasi remembered, older even than seven years would account for. There was a streak of silver in his hair that hadn't been there the last time she'd seen him – but then, the last time she'd seen him he'd been unconscious and pale as a sheet, looking two breaths from death, so she supposed there were tradeoffs. The woman, Lila, had a black eye. Like the miracle king. Like Kell. Almost like Ojka. Nasi knew now that they were called _Antari_ and that the black eye meant they could travel between worlds and use blood magic. She didn't like the sound of that. It seemed too similar to the kind of magic Nasi had grown up with.

Kell and Lila were standing almost directly below her.

"Do you ever wonder," Kell said. But he stopped abruptly and didn't finish.

"Wonder what?" Lila prompted.

"No, it's nothing. Just thinking about why. Why Holland's death seems to have brought magic back to this world."

Lila looked at him suspiciously. Then, "Oh, I get it. You were wondering if it was because he was _Antari_ , and then you wondered what would happen if I died in boring London and whether it would suddenly get all magical. Well we're not going to find out, so stop worrying about it. You're getting a wrinkle." She reached over and pressed one finger right between his eyebrows. He batted her hand away, exasperated. "What happens when _Antari_ die in Red London?" she asked.

Kell shrugged. "Nothing, really. I mean, as far as I know. I've never read about anything unusual, anyway."

"Guess we'll find out first-hand."

"Not for a long time."

"That's the plan."

Kell offered her a small smile, touched the trunk of the tree, and then they turned to leave. That was it. Nasi realized abruptly that she'd missed her chance – or more accurately, had let it go.

 

She let it go five more times. Sometimes Kell and Lila's visits were as short and simple as that second one. One time, they didn't speak to each other at all. Nasi got the sense they were fighting. One time, Lila shoved Kell right up against the tree and kissed him, hard, eliciting a stammered "L- Lila!" as she moved on to his neck and her hands wandered elsewhere.

"What?" Lila had purred. "Not in front of the tree?"

Nasi climbed the tree unfailingly every year, even the year she was pregnant. And every year she stayed silent and just watched. She wasn't really sure why she was doing it anymore, just that it was comforting somehow.

The fifth year, when Nasi's daughter was two years old, and Nasi had left her with a neighbor for her yearly errand (imagine, a world where one could safely do such a thing), there was something besides the flower nestled among the roots of the Kingtree. It was an envelope of thick, creamy parchment. She didn't touch it and climbed the tree as usual to see what Kell and Lila would make of it.

They noticed it immediately, of course. They exchanged a look and Kell made to pick it up, but Lila was faster.

"What does it say?" Kell asked when Lila tore it open and had tugged out the contents. One sheet of paper, covered in writing.

"I… have no fucking clue. I can't read White Londonian," she said, and thrust it at Kell, who rolled his eyes and accepted it. His expression quickly darkened, though.

"The king knows we come here," he said darkly.

"The king? Do we know him?"

"Not this one. He wants to meet. To rebuild bridges…"

"Well, that's it for this, then. This is what happens when you get predictable, Kell." Kell didn't answer. Lila narrowed her eyes. "You're not thinking of doing it, are you?"

"Of course not." Kell folded the paper and returned it to the envelope.

"Are you going to tell Rhy?"

"There's no reason to. The throne's position is clear."

"Which is why you've never told him about your yearly visits here."

"He knows." Kell paused. "He _must_ know," he said, less certainly. "Though you haven't told him either, I notice."

"He's not my brother," she said with a shrug. "I really was just asking though. Tell him or don't. Makes no difference to me."

"You're singularly unhelpful when you put your mind to it."

"I know." Lila sounded pleased. She threaded an arm through Kell's. "Am I the only one wondering why we found a letter here and not a group of armed guards or the king himself?"

"Maybe this world really has changed."

Lila snorted. "Sure. Can we go? I've got a sudden case of the creeps."

Kell nodded, touched the trunk of the tree as he always did, fingers lingering just a bit longer than usual, and then they left.

 

They did not return the next year, or the one after, or the one after that. Nasi wasn't sure what to make of it. She hadn't told the king about their visits, didn't know how he'd found out, but she'd never seen anyone in the grove other than herself in the past three years. Kell and Lila had left the letter, obviously read, and it had been gone the next time Nasi returned. If the king took their silent rejection badly no one could tell.

In the meantime, she lived her life. London was her home again, but she never returned to the palace. As a water mage, she had options. Her daughter, Vyra, had yet to show any particular affinity and Nasi was delighted to live in a world where that lack of power wouldn't necessarily lead to her early death. Vyra was five years old now, and Nasi loved her a frightening amount. Her father was some likely looking fellow from across town – Nasi generally had to struggle to remember his name, and she was fairly certain he had no idea Vyra existed. She'd wanted a child, the man had been amenable to an evening of athleticism and mutual enjoyment, and here she was.

It was raining the night of the third year of Kell and Lila's absence, and by now visiting the grove had become a simple ritual. She used it to take time to talk to the Sijlt, and to talk to the tree, too, now. After, Nasi walked home slowly. She loved the rain and let it soak her as long as she was outside, shucking the water off with a thought when she crossed the threshold into Lea's bakery. Lea was thin as a rail, baked what she wanted when she wanted, sang loudly and off key while she did so, and taking a flat next door to her had been the best decision Nasi had ever made. Lea adored Vyra, and was happy to look after her on the rare occasions Nasi asked. In return for that and fresh bread, Nasi purified Lea's water and kept her supplied in ice. It was a happy partnership. It might, Nasi reflected, become something more.

 

How quickly things could change. One month later, Nasi's hopes for the future, her idle musings, the comfortable life she'd built all derailed over the course of one week and she did something she had never done; she returned to the grove, and she brought Vyra with her.

Sneaking into the grove was more difficult with a five-year-old who was not a water mage, particularly when that five-year-old could sense her mother's distress, but they managed it. Nasi knelt among the Kingtree's roots and pulled Vyra down with her.

"Here, love," Nasi said. "Put out your hand."

Vyra did so, and Nasi placed in it the red coin she had carried with her for over a decade. She gently curled Vyra's fingers closed around it, then wrapped the child's small hand in both of her own.

 _Help_ , she thought.

"Mama, what are we doing?" Vyra asked.

"We are… hoping, Vyra."

"Is this about my eye?"

"Yes. Hush now, and concentrate."

 


	4. Chapter 4

_Red London  
_

"…so I told him I didn't know why he was worried about it, it just puts his family one step closer to the throne," Rhy said cheerfully. He turned to look expectantly at Kell, waiting for the grimace, the thinning of the mouth that said Kell absolutely believed Rhy would say something like that to the head of one of the highest ranking noble houses. But Kell's mind was clearly elsewhere. Rhy frowned. "And then I told him I'd just abdicate and name _you_ king as soon as Lila's pregnant."

"Hm. Did you— wait, _what?_ "

"There you are," Rhy said.

"Lila's not— we aren't— it's not even—"

"I know! Kell, I know. Breathe. Where is your head today, brother mine?"

Kell took a deep drink from the glass he'd been ignoring. "Please, _please_ , if you value my life at all, never say anything remotely approaching what you just said within a league of Lila." They were standing on Rhy's balcony, Rhy filling him in on the latest gossip – though now that he was king, the gossip was actually politics, even if Kell couldn't see much difference. They were supposed to be discussing their alliance with Faro and the threat of civil war brewing in that country, but Rhy had determined early on that Kell's heart wasn't in it. It could wait. Alucard would be joining them shortly and that always sharpened Kell's wits.

"I would never," Rhy said, hand over his heart. "You know I value your life almost as highly as my own."

Kell looked sharply at him, but it really was just a joke. Of all the evil that had come with the shadow king, one blessing was that Kell and Rhy had proved their strength to each other enough times that Rhy really could take a lighthearted approach to their bond. Most days. Kell wondered if Rhy actually knew about all the times Kell had traveled to White London. Rhy felt it whenever Kell used magic now, and while Kell did so sparingly and Rhy would never question him beyond assuring himself that Kell was all right, he couldn't have failed to notice it happening on the same day every year for the four years before Lila had figured him out and taken over the traveling spell.

"I'm sorry," Kell said. "I'm distracted. I keep thinking… do you _hear_ something?" he asked, turning to glance behind him yet again.

"Hearing voices? Never a good sign," Alucard said, striding onto the balcony and dropping a kiss on Rhy's cheek. Kell ignored him. "You're just restless, Kell," Alucard grinned at him. "Relax. Lila will be back any day now."

"Yes," Kell said absently. "You're right. Excuse me." He left the balcony and Rhy's chambers. Alucard and Rhy exchanged unnerved glances.

"Did he just—"

"Agree with you without argument? He did. Luc…" Rhy said.

"Say no more," Alucard said, snatching up Rhy's hand and kissing it as he made an elaborate bow over it. "I'll look out for him."

 

Alucard followed Kell out into the city. It wasn't nearly as difficult as following Lila, even though Alucard stood out more than he ever had before thanks to both his silver scars and his status with the king. It helped that Kell was completely distracted, returning the greetings of people in the streets with vague nods and pausing every once in a while to cock his head to the side as though listening for something. Alucard couldn't see anything magical that might be affecting the _Antari_ and was thoroughly puzzled.

Kell made his way to the outskirts of the city, toward a scenic overlook that was one of his favorite haunts. The thing about that particular overlook was that there was only one path to the top, and there was rarely anyone else there. That made it very hard to stealthily follow someone up it. If he had been trailing anyone but an _Antari_ , Alucard would have stayed at the bottom and waited for them to come back down, but as it was…

"What are you doing here?" Kell asked when Alucard strolled up beside him as he ascended the rise.

"Just getting some air," Alucard said blandly, under no illusion that Kell would believe him for a moment.

Kell huffed. "You can go back and tell Rhy he doesn't need to worry about me."

"I'm not your messenger. Tell him yourself."

Kell ignored him and stepped out onto the rise. There was a stone bench there for anyone who wanted to take in the spectacular view of the city, but Kell walked right past it, turning slowly around as though he'd expected to find something here. He shot a quick look at Alucard, started to say something, then stopped, so Alucard knew he was about to ask him something. Kell hated asking him things.

"Do you… see anything here?" Kell finally said, grudgingly.

"A black-eyed prince going slightly mad," Alucard drawled.

"Never mind," Kell grumbled. Then he looked up quickly, as though someone had called his name. "You didn't hear that?"

Alucard shook his head slowly, wondering if maybe he really should be worried.

"It sounded like… no that's not right. I'm not really _hearing_ it. It's more like… oh." He remembered what Ned Tuttle had said, about drafts and whispers, and the _feeling_ of something beckoning him. But this wasn't something asking to be let in, this was a plea, a cry for aid with his name attached. "It's White London," he said. "Someone's calling me."

Alucard straightened in alarm. "What? Calling you _how_?"

Kell already had one hand on his knife. "They need help," he said vaguely, more focused on what he was hearing than on Alucard.

"Sure. That's what Ojka said too, isn't it? Kell, you're not seriously thinking of— Kell!"

Kell had swiped the knife across his hand. "It's a child," he said, meeting Alucard's eyes directly. Then, as Alucard reached for him, " _As Travars._ " And he was gone.

Alucard stared at the space for a moment. "Well," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Lila's going to kill me." He started back down the path hoping he'd have at least one more night with Rhy before she returned.

 

_White London_

Nothing had ever come of hoping or praying, in Nasi's experience, so she was considerably startled when the red messenger stumbled out of nowhere and collapsed next to the Kingtree. Vyra gasped and Nasi stood to go to him, to help him up, but he thrust out a bloody hand so forcefully she stopped, expecting him to fling an element or spell at her. Instead he just let out an aborted cry and clutched at his chest.

"…Kell?" Nasi asked. She'd never said his name out loud before. It tasted strange.

Kell took a deep breath and got to his feet, brushing off his long, red coat and eyeing her warily. The pain was already fading, but it had been worse than he remembered. He pressed the cut on his hand to slow the bleeding, and because it felt better than that deep tear in the center of his being. He looked Nasi up and down and then his eyes flicked to the little girl behind her. They stayed there.

"Ah," he said.

"Yes," Nasi said, extending a hand behind her. Vyra grasped it and Nasi gave her a gentle tug, standing her in front of herself and putting her hands on Vyra's shoulders. "Please," Nasi said. "I don't know what to do."

Kell nodded and crouched in front of Vyra. "What's your name?" he asked in her own language. Vyra looked up at her mother uncertainly. Nasi nodded.

"Vyra," the child said. Then, "Is this yours?" She held out the red lin.

"No," Kell said slowly. "I think it's yours."

" _Kell!_ "

Kell whirled, only to find Lila crashing into him from nowhere. She somehow managed to use her momentum to thrust him behind her and had a knife pulled on Nasi and Vyra before Kell knew what was happening.

Of course, Nasi had most of the river out of its bed and protecting her and her daughter, so it wasn't like she was helpless, but still, this could be going better.

"Stop," Kell said, putting a hand on Lila's shoulder before she could set anything on fire. "Both of you. Please." Kell looked to Nasi. Nasi lowered her stream of water a bit, and Lila straightened slightly. She waited until Nasi had put the water back where it belonged, then whirled on Kell.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I show up at the palace and next thing I know Rhy's bleeding and in pain – Kell pain – and telling me to make a door to Alucard because he's with you because you've been acting _weird_ , and Alucard tells me you _followed a ghost voice to White fucking London_."

Kell reached out, took Lila by the shoulders, and gently turned her around to face Nasi and Vyra, who was clutching Nasi's leg, not understanding all the shouting in another language. Lila looked down, noticing the kid for the first time.

"Oh shit," she said.

"She's _Antari_ ," Kell said. He shifted his attention to Nasi. "But why did you call us? Are you in some kind of trouble? How did you even know to do that?"

"I worked in the palace," Nasi said. "When the Danes ruled. And after." Her eyes darted up to the branches of the Kingtree. "When the miracle king ruled. And vanished. I know how bad things can get for _Antari_. So…" Her fingers tightened on Vyra's shoulders even as she pushed the child forward. "Please. Take her." It hurt to say it, but it would have hurt more to see the things that had happened to this world's last  _Antari_ happen to her daughter.

Kell looked panicked. "We can't," he protested. Vyra was looking back at her mother, frightened, not liking at all what she'd heard. "She belongs here. This is her world." Lila arched an eyebrow at him, but he studiously ignored it. "It's changed. Magic has awakened here. She's part of that."

"Everyone is civil enough _now_. But how can I trust they'll stay that way when confronted with true power? How can I protect her?" Nasi asked fiercely.

"Teach her to protect herself," Lila cut in. Kell started. He hadn't been aware she'd taught herself the language of White London, but he supposed he should have known. "She's _Antari_." Lila grinned, showing teeth. "No one will touch her if she doesn't want them to."

"If you won't take her," Nasi said, pulling Vyra back to herself with an odd mix of dismay and relief crossing her face. "Will you teach her?"

Lila snorted. "Nope. Not our problem. _Ow_ , hey!" A pine cone had fallen on her head. She caught it as it bounced off and glared up at the Kingtree. "You're not even coniferous, you lying bastard!" she shouted at it, chucking the pine cone at its trunk. "Come on, Kell, let's go home before Rhy wears a hole in the floor worrying."

But Kell was looking thoughtful.

"No," Lila said. "No, no, no. I know that face. Not our world, not our problem."

"We were coming here for years anyway," Kell said.

"No."

"No one needs to know."

"Rhy will know."

"We'll tell him."

Lila studied him for a few moments. "This means that much to you?"

"You don't have to come." Lila punched his shoulder, but there wasn't any real intent behind it. Kell just smiled and Lila knew he had her. "Us _Antari_ have to stick together. I remember how much it meant to me, the first time I met Holland. He was a complete ass. But I still… I wanted that connection." He hadn't been able to take his eyes off the other _Antari_. He'd been hungry for someone like him, for someone who _understood_. "If we had met sooner, if we had shared what we knew, maybe Athos would never have been able to catch him like he did. Maybe everything would have been different." Kell shrugged. "Or maybe not. Either way, Vyra doesn't have to grow up alone, putting it all together from scratch," he said.

"Some of us _like_ being alone."

"Then she can tell us so herself. What do you say, Vyra. Would you like us to teach you _Antari_ magic?" Kell asked, switching to her language.

"Like what Mama does?"

"That's part of it. But there's more. Special magic only you can do. We can come visit you and teach you, if you like."

"Is it okay, Mama?" Vyra asked.

Nasi nodded. "Yes, love. They will help you become strong."

"Then yes, please come visit me. I don't have many friends," Vyra said shyly. Lila rolled her eyes and Kell elbowed her in the side.

"We will. We have to talk to our friends and find out how often, but we'll come. For now, though," He switched his gaze to Nasi. "Teach her water magic. As _Antari_ she can access all the elements. That's a good place to start until we can return. And just in case…" He knelt in front of Vyra again. "Hang on to that coin. Keep it with you all the time. If you end up in trouble – really, really bad trouble, emergencies only – hold the coin, make a small cut on your hand, and say _As Travars_. It will transport you to our world. But be very, very careful. This is a safe place to use that spell, but anywhere else and you won't know where you'll come out. So, only if you are in terrible danger. Understand?"

Vyra nodded, wide-eyed while Lila watched with arms crossed. Kell straightened.

"You should go home now. We'll come back when we can," he told Nasi. She nodded, numbly. This hadn't gone how she thought it would, but it could have gone far worse. She pulled Vyra's hood up over her head and told her to keep her head down.

"Wait," Lila said. "Vyra." Vyra looked up. "Here." She tossed a knife at the kid, and Nasi and Kell both cried out. But Vyra caught it neatly. It had its own leather sleeve, so there was no danger of her cutting herself. It was one of Lila's tiny boot knives, perfect for five-year-old hands.

"Lila," Kell said, exasperated.

"What? You taught her a blood spell. What do you want her to do, claw the blood out with her fingernails? Every _Antari_ needs at least one knife. That one's yours," she said, addressing the last part to Vyra. "Take care of it."

Vyra nodded solemnly, clutching the knife to her chest. Lila sighed.

"And put it away. A knife that small's no good if everyone knows you have it."

Vyra hurriedly tucked the knife into a pocket and Nasi glared disapproval at Lila, who just smiled at her. Nasi huffed, and hustled Vyra out of the grove, taking a hidden path back to the city. Kell watched them go.

"So," he said when they were out of earshot. "Feel like threatening someone today?"

"Oh, God, yes," Lila said. "Who?"

"I thought we'd start with the king."

 

And that was how Vyra acquired two _Antari_ godparents. Things were tense at first, but it quickly became clear that whatever Kell and Lila had said to the king (Kell insisted that it was all Lila, he'd just stood back and watched), it worked. Nasi and Vyra were never bothered, and Vyra was eventually invited to learn her elements with other children who were showing signs of magic. Nasi almost refused, but Lea talked her into it and against all of her expectations, Vyra made friends. Kids would forgive a shining black eye if the person whose head it was in always showed up with the best snacks (and she did, thanks to Lea).

Kell and Lila returned a few times a year to teach Vyra _Antari_ magic. They always practiced in the Silver Wood, under the leaves of the Kingtree. As Vyra got older, Lila would come back alone sometimes to teach Vyra how to fight with a knife. She thought Kell and Nasi didn't know about these extra training sessions. She was half right.

Nasi would never know how Kell and Lila had convinced their own king to allow this. She didn't much care. Vyra was safe, and thriving. Lea had asked them both to move in above the bakery with her. Nasi was happy.

Every year she took Vyra to the Silver Wood on the day that she now knew was the day the miracle king – who had really, truly, been the someday king – had died to bring the world back to life. They sat under the Kingtree, and Nasi would tell Vyra what she remembered about Holland Vosijk, and the stories she'd heard. Eventually she began telling her own stories, as well; how she'd followed the Sijlt to its source when she'd been just thirteen, how she'd gotten her scars, what life had been like before. She told Vyra these things so that when the magic came calling – when the world forgot how to be _good_ – Vyra would be ready.

And she was.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Thanks for coming along on this odd, meandering, "I-need-to-work-through-my-feelings" fic. You're all delightful :)
> 
> Oh, and you can find me on tumblr under this same name, if you're so inclined. My ask box is always open.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Requiem [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15866235) by [Dendritic_Trees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dendritic_Trees/pseuds/Dendritic_Trees), [solomonara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solomonara/pseuds/solomonara)




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